| Jewish Sparks |
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First-hand accounts of moments that transformed a Jewish consciousness
Eight college girls get together every Wednesday night near Rutgers University to study Torah. These girls were once considered indifferent, unaffiliated, unengaged or even “on their way out” of Judaism. Today, they study Tanakh, Prayer, Holidays, Hebrew and divrei Torah. Five of these girls are preparing to spend a year in Israel to study. What happened that changed the course of their lives from one of non-engagement to one in which they embrace their Jewish identity first and foremost? All those who shared their stories for this report had different experiences, unique moments that sparked the changes in their lives. But all of the diverse entry points led to a similar process of transformation. Each has embraced what Judaism has to offer in their own way, making their Jewishness something that they feel really belongs to them, and are all today living “Jewish” lives. Jenn Dudzinski is one of these eight girls and now studies Torah almost every night. Jenn was dating a non-Jewish boy before transferring to Rutgers University. Her boyfriend would go to shul with her, and she would go to church with him. Both were very spiritual and loved nature. Jenn was vegan, her way of keeping kosher. She and her boyfriend were making plans to get married. But as a transfer student, Jenn found herself limited to a selection of courses, choosing a Jewish studies track by default. She became infatuated with the thought of Spinoza, Buber and Kant, and started thinking more about G-d from a Jewish standpoint. At the same time, her distance from her boyfriend was affecting their relationship, and it didn’t help that he didn’t want to hear her keep talking about Jewish philosophy. When a girl in her Jewish studies class announced a Meor trip to Israel for $400, she seized on her favorite “categorical imperative” from class: “If something is good, you have to do it.” So, after a difficult breakup with her boyfriend, she went to Israel. That’s when the spark hit. “It was the first time I’ve seen people studying Torah for the sake of studying Torah,” Jenn says. “I grew up with a Judaism so cut and dried, so formal. How could I connect to G-d that way? “I wasn’t sure if I believed in G-d at the time. Not sure I believed in revelation at Sinai. I didn’t think to pray. I didn’t think to look into Judaism,” Jenn adds. But after returning from her trip, she sought out a rabbi and has been learning ever since. Today, Jenn says that she davens, prays, because she wants a relationship with G-d. She says that she went from a “me-serviced” Judaism to a “Hashem-serviced” Judaism. “I don’t always do things because I want to. I do things because I think I should,” she says. Jenn says she is more satisfied with a day focused on mitzvot than one that makes ends meet. While Jenn has moved toward a more religious path, others who have been “sparked” have embraced Judaism in a variety of ways, through Jewish work, social action, art or just the feeling of being a proud Jew. In my own life, all it took was one teacher, one sentence, to steer me toward a Jewish path. Many others have also been able to tell their story of what brought them in with an "I know where I was when..." story. My friend Dan calls it "The point of no return." My friend JT, "The Jewish epiphany." I can't exactly explain the science of what happens at the point of transformation. But as many affirmed in sharing their stories, the spark was always lurking, it just needed to be ignited. |